The managing principal of AQR Capital Management in New York runs a $5 billion market-neutral hedge fund, AQR Absolute Return, that posted a snappy 10 percent return in the first nine months of 2003. But Asness can’t repress his personal distaste for bull market hysteria or his conviction that equities are once again overvalued.
“In almost everything we do, we’re not trying to take a view on the market,” says the 37-year-old. “Yet I persist in babbling on about the market.”
Asness’ latest babbling takes the form of haiku. His October quarterly strategy note to investors included “Bubble Reloaded,” 22 poems mocking the resurgence of overexuberance that are written in the classical pattern of three lines of five, seven and five syllables, respectively.
“The haiku was just a way to keep myself awake while writing the same thing,” says Asness, a University of Chicago finance Ph.D. who headed quantitative research in Goldman Sachs’ asset management division before co-founding AQR with former Goldman colleagues in 1998. Below is a sample of his work.
Best they can argue
Not as high as ninety-nine
Faint praise is damning
Tech stocks lead the pack
While bulls talk up dividends
Hypocrites galore
The Net is white-hot
“They are real companies now”
New bubble mantra
Amazon is back
Price-to-sales is hitting 5
Wal-Mart at 1, wow
Quality is out
Speculation rides again
Casino open
CNBC is back
All the old salesmen are on
Oldest profession
Wall Street commercials
Say they have learned their lessons
Huh, are they kidding?
Last time blame Wall Street
This time you should know better
No sympathy now
