Every week CFW spends a chunk of time trolling through corporations' Securities and Exchange Commission filings. Amid all the messy tables, opaque jargon and pie-eyed optimism, a new literary genre has emerged. A few activist hedge fund managers have taken the practice of writing disparaging letters to companies and created something tasteless, verbose and unique, inspiring fear and loathing in corporate executives, as well as providing a lively source of lunchtime reading for those of us who don't have their chips on the table.

In July, the Street was abuzz with a letter from Robert Chapman--who some refer to as the "Father of the 13-D letter"--of Chapman Capital to Vitesse Semiconductor Corp. Chapman used current events to suggest death, the bible and prison: "Unless those guilty of such potential infractions seek to take the 'perp walk' down the path that expires where Kenneth Lay now lies scattered in ashes, I expect that option cancellation would be a welcomed part of any plea bargain agreement." Tasteless? You bet.

If Chapman is the father of the 13-D, then Daniel "Poison Pen" Loeb of Third Point LLC is the Henry Miller. A short sampling of quotes from a June letter to Nabi Pharmaceuticals reads like excerpts from a misguided Wall Street horror movie: "Despite this, you hide your heads in the nearest warm aperture in an apparent 'ostrich defense...'"; "Maybe you thought we would 'go away'"; "Nothing short of a full and public value maximization process will satisfy us...'"; "The clock is ticking...."